These kids have been through so much, and impressed me every time. They’ve been dragged around from state to state, house to house with their two parents who always seemed to have one big issue or another for the past 6 years. I feel like now is the time to make this about them. To do the work and stay focused on what they need. Maybe its guilt because I feel like I’ve let them down for the last 3 years or so, when I was barely keeping my own head above water for so long, just trying to get through the day and knowing I had to force a change that would tear us apart or make us stronger. Turns out it did both. Maybe its panic because they are teens already. They’re so close to breaking away and starting their own lives, and I feel like I haven’t done my job to prepare them for that. Now, finally, that the divorce is finished and we’re all settled in our houses and there is no crisis that takes my attention away from them and we’ve had time to let the smoke clear, now I need to be here for them.
After going through the worst of that, and knowing how close I came to losing them, I’m so aware of how lucky I am that they still want me to be here for them. That they still love their mom, and aren’t the least bit hesitant to tell me so, each in their different ways.
So I’m here.
